An Endless Waltz
by arienettechemistry
Summary: What if Bella had been the one to leave Edward? Edward reacts and reflects on what she meant to him, their relationship and memories together. One shot. Pre-Breaking Dawn.


It had been some time since Bella had been gone. I cannot blame her, I only wish I could. I knew from the moment I saw her small, heart-shaped face across the cafeteria, that it was never to be. Her flat chocolate brown eyes held something I was never to hold. Why couldn't I leave myself with that? I had to go against everything I knew to be right and moral, everything that I had known in my innumerable years of unsatisfied living. Isabella Swan. I knew that she liked to be called Bella, but in my mind, "Isabella Swan" rolled off my tongue like a sweet symphony meant for only my ears. She was absolutely beautiful. There were no words to describe her physical appearance in my eyes. She was completely astonishing, and nothing short of perfection.

I remembered the moment that wave of warm air flooded her delicious scent into my body, that moment where I knew there was no escape. I had planned to kill everyone baring witness, but somehow I restricted myself. Somehow I managed to keep inside myself, to not let myself touch her. I had dug my hands into the table, and the wood came splintering off in tiny sparks. I could almost feel her fear towards me, but I could not see it. There was no emotion or thought radiating from her. She was a blank star sitting in the sky, with so many things flying around her. Only I was flying towards her.

I had used every piece and miniscule particle of myself to keep from lunging at her throat with my hands, swiftly shoving her into the classroom ground and lusciously sinking my teeth into her pale, transparent, smooth, skin. Beneath that thin veil was her ever flowing, pulsing, rushing each time she blushed- blood. The warm crimson color would creep into her cheeks and turn her delicate face a delicious magenta.

In that instant, I vowed to never let myself ruin her, let myself taint her innocence and wonder to me.

Isabella saw everything differently. She paid almost no attention to people, let alone friendships with her classmates. Everything surrounding seemed trivial to her, as if she was constantly living in another world where she felt no one could find her. I wanted to find her there, in a place where she unconsciously kept her thoughts so safely guarded from me. I yearned to find her.

In the days to come, it was simple. It was as simple as humanity and right and wrong- we were drawn to each other. As her love intoxicated my entire being, and her burning lilac scent swam endlessly throughout my senses day after day, there was nothing I could do, but fall. I fell in love with her, with her sadness.

When I think about her eyes, they were deep mirrors. I would look at them and see a reflection of myself. A beast, a collective of bones arranged in a fashion so appealing that you could not look away. A spider weaving a web that would transform into an endless waltz.

Somewhere inside myself I like to think that my Isabella- Silly, to call her Isabella. Silly, to still call her mine.

Somewhere, I take a slight joy in the fact that maybe she had known all along. Maybe she had known, somewhere deep inside her loving, human soul, that this could not be. Maybe she only carried on the way she did because she knew how amazing she was to me, and the splendor I took in just watching her exhale.

How could anyone blame her for what she had done now? That had been her only option since the beginning, but we strung each other along. We were lost in each other completely, and couldn't want or need anything else in this world but each other. She was hypnotized by my striking aesthetics, and believed she saw beyond the monster. Deeper into whatever a soul I had left. How could she have known that all I was, was a demented storybook character?

With a sigh, I placed the only picture of her I had back in its shoe box home. I always found it silly that I would keep something like that to cherish, or at least to admire, for so long after she had been gone. Let alone, in a menial shoe box. The others would think it a prop, anyway. All these silly mortal things we had to keep around, just to appear slightly normal. I placed the lid on the box, and slid it onto its shelf in the closet. I slid the closet door closed, and tried to retain composure.

I would remember her forever, even if I did not wish to. All of my memories of her, with her, were saved in my head for always. That was a place where I could always find her. That was the only place I could keep her now.

She was beautiful, if not to anyone but me.


End file.
